Many products contain warnings, such as "Keep out of direct sunlight", or "Danger - high voltage". They are there for our protection, and we thank the manufacturers for using them. However, it is possible to take things too far. Here follows a collection of such warnings that did not need to be stated. There are also a few other items in here which while aren't precautions, still have a home here.

***New*** "This product can be cooked from frozen. If cooking from frozen, please defrost in the refrigerator." - On the packaging of a Bernard Matthews frozen turkey breast.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." - On a bottle of dog sampoo.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." - On a curling iron.

"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." - Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" - On a coffee cup.

"For external use only!" - On a curling iron.

"Warning: May contain small parts." - On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." - On a toilet brush.

"Please keep out of children" - On a butcher knife.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use" - On a battery.

"This bag may contain bio-hazardous waste after use" - On an airline sick bag.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." - In the manual for a heated seat cusion.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." - On a laser pointer.

"Do not use for drying pets." - In the manual for a microwave oven.

"Once prepared, do not reheat you lazy slob!" - On the preparation instructions for a Pot Noodle.

"Do not use as ear plugs." - On a package of silly putty.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." - On a bag of fresh grapes.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" - On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." - On a pack of Breath Savers.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." - On the label of a bottled drink.

"Theft of this container is a crime." - On a milk crate.

"Do not use intimately." - On a tube of deodorant.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." - On a box of rat poison.

"Fragile. Do not drop." - Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Serving suggestion: Defrost" - On a Swann frozen dinner.

"All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty must be paid for." - A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hilsboro, New Hampshire.

"Open packet. Eat contents" - Instructions on a paacket of airline peanuts.

"Cannot be made non-poisonous" - On a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." - On a portable stroller.

"Always drive on roads, not on people." - From a car ad which shows a vehicle crowd-surfing at concert.

"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." - On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

"Look before driving" - On the dash board of a postal van.

"Optional modem required." - On a computer software package.

"Do not iron clothes on body" - On the packaging of a Rowenta iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." - On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." - On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." - On a child sized Superman costume.

"No stopping or standing." - A sign at bus stops everywhere.

"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am" - On a hospital's outside access door.

"Do not use house paint on face." - In a VISA ad that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." - On a sign at a train station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate prblems." - On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

"Malfunction: Too less water." - A notice left on a coffe machine.

"Remove the plastic wrapper." - The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic warapper and unfold the pouch.

"Product will be hot after heating." - On a supermarket dessert box.

"In the case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." - One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

"Do not turn upside down." - On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." - On a lighter.

"Do not drive cars in the ocean." - In a car ad which shows a car in the ocean.

"Choking hazard: this toy is a small ball." - On the label of a cheap rubber ball toy.

"Not for human consuption." - On a package of dice.

"Do not sit under coconut trees." - A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." - The ingredients list on a pakage of fruit buns.

"May be harmful if swallowed." - On a shipment of hammers.

"For a limited time only." - From a Rally's ad that described how their burgers were fresh.

"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warrranty." - A printed message that appears in a television ad when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

"Do not attempt to stop the balade with your hand." - In the manual for a Sweedish chainsaw.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers" - From a manual for an SGI computer.

"Warning: May contain nuts." - On a packet of peanuts.

"Take care: new non-slip surface." - On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that let to the entrance of a building.

"Fits one head." - On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

"Do not eat" - On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." - On a bottle of Nytol a brand of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." - Stamped on the metal barrel ofa .22 calibre rifle.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." - In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Turn off motor before using this product." - On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." - On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Do not put in mouth." - On a box of bottle rockets.

"Please remove before driving." - On the back og a cardboard winscreen (for keeping the car cool whilst parked).

"Remove plastic before eating." - On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

"Not dishwasher safe." - On a remote control for a TV.

"For lifting purposes only." - On the box for a car jack.

"Do not put lit candles on phone." - On the instructions for a cordless phone.

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." - On the packaging for a wristwatch.

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